Omer Day 46
I am looking ahead to the end which is also the beginning. The end of the Omer counting, Day 50, 7 weeks and a day since the beginning of the Second Night of Passover. A deliberate, weeks-long slog, counting days to mark the journey from the “end of slavery” to the “beginning of freedom.” Enslaved Jews in servitude to a god-master named Pharaoh for four hundred years who lived and ruled and oppressed according to his own rules. Day 46: in a few short days we will find out what freedom really means: The Gift of Torah. Law. Rules. Side Rails. A Road Map. Guide Lines. Call it what you like: Judaism’s proposition, from the beginning, has been that there is no freedom without the Law.
Long before I decided to be a “serious Jew” I was gobsmacked by Bob Dylan’s 1979 recording “Slow Train Coming,” which was described as an artistic expression of his Christian phase. Call me crazy, but I always found the poetry here to be very Jewish, even when playing with Christian themes. Dad had me reading Chaim Potok so I knew about the transgressive character Asher Lev. Rebellious Jews weren’t news. So even the supposedly Christian Bob was up to something, breaking himself down in full view of his fans.
But you're gonna have to serve somebody.”
Songwriters need stanzas, a chorus and a melody. Painters need a canvas. Baseball players need a diamond. A Jew needs the Torah. I wasn’t worried about Bob, for some reason. I knew we’d get him back. And he’d name the record Infidels. What a Jokerman. If you’ve never seen Bob’s 1984 Jokerman on David Letterman, give it a look. Here here is with a faux Ramones band, acting the Jewish punk at his own Bar Mitzvah party. We know where his heart lies.
I always thought of Bob’s coming back home to the Law as an awkward Bar Mitzvah boy doing it his own way but still having to reckon with the Structure of the Law.
Omer Day 47
Speaking of 1984, that year was a special one for me because that is when I bought my first English translation of the Hebrew Bible, The Holy Scriptures, According to the Masoretic Text, A New Translation, With the Aid of Previous Versions and with Constant Consultation of Jewish Authorities, Philadelphia, The Jewish Publication Society of America.
I bought it at the Hillel Foundation at 611 Langdon Street in Madison, Wisconsin. Where I was also a “member” of Hillel for an $18 fee. I got a nifty B’nai B’rith Hillel Foundation Pocket Calendar (black, faux leather) for joining. In the index of the calendar it listed American cities according to their Jewish population. This was 40 years ago. The Children of Israel wandered in the Sinai Desert for 40 years before crossing the Jordan River into the Land of Israel.
Can we just pause for a moment of silence and tip our hats to the phrase “with Constant Consultation of Jewish Authorities?”
In Psalm 84, as rendered by this splendidly worn, much loved first study book of mine for my journey into being a Serious Man, we encounter these marvelous, beautiful words:
“Happy is the man whose strength is in Thee; in whose heart are the highways. Passing through the valley of Baka they make it a place of springs; yea the early rain clotheth it with blessings. They go from strength to strength, every one of them appeareth before God in Zion.”
Wherever you wander, wherever you roam, God is there. As a boy my mother made me talk to God before I fell asleep each night. My Jewish father’s charred Jewish soul could advise no such thing. Mom knew something he didn’t and shared it with me. “Yea the sparrow hath found a house, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young.”
The maple desk upon which the Bible rests had been mine since I started college in 1981. My mom and grandmother found it, covered in green paint, at a garage sale. They stripped it, stained it, and gave it to me as inspiration to write. 40 years later, here we are.
Thank you Mom.
Omer Day 48
I turn, as I often do in difficult times, to Rabbi Kalonymus Kalman Shapira, the Rebbe of the Warsaw Ghetto. Writing from the hellscape of the Nazi occupation of Poland in 1940, he said, “Not only at a time when things are going well for us shall we go in God’s ways, higher and higher. Even in distress and darkness, heaven forfend, we shall do so. When all is going well for a person, it is easier to serve God with joy, love and fervor. When, however, he is, God forbid, in trouble, he must make use of his situation, serving God with a broken heart and with an outpouring of soul.”
This fucking war. I want those praying Jews, Christians and Muslims among us to find one another and share not only our anguish but our determined will to make peace.
The suffering — everyone’s suffering — must cease.
Omer Day 49
Rosh Hashanah begins on the sliver of a new moon. At Yom Kippur, when we repent, it is almost full. But in fact it is only full on Sukkot, the festival that commemorates our sleeping in desert booths on the way to freedom. One needs light in the darkness to survive. At Hanukah, a time of war, the moon is nearly waned. It is, by some calculations, the darkest night of the year. At Purim, a time of great celebration, the moon is full. And at Passover, the moon is full again. Freedom, it appears, demands light in its greatest luminescence.
Shavuot is, according to the calendar, Nisht ahinn, nisht aherr — neither a chicken or a rabbit. Meaning, neither here nor there. Neither new nor full, it is almost there. Like most of us.
The way I look at it, as tired as we might be, we are not there yet. “Ben Bag Bag said: Turn it over, and [again] turn it over, for all is therein. And look into it; And become gray and old therein; And do not move away from it, for you have no better portion than it.” (Pirke Avot 5:22)
In other words, keep going.
Omer Day 50
Thank you for reading me these past fifty days. Thank you for commenting on this site, for sending me emails, texting me, calling me, and letting me know that some of the wisdom “with Constant Consultation of Jewish Authorities” resonated for you.
These are days and weeks of reckoning and my prayer for you is that you reckon hard, with integrity and intention for living a life, with others, of truth, justice and peace.
Tonight is the night that the Torah was given according to the Jewish Tradition. The moment opens, amidst smoke, fire, thunder and rumbling mountains, with God proclaiming the Ten Commandments to Moses and the Jewish people.
Imagine a world, dear reader, if most people on our broken, fragile planet, could honor these words:
וַיְדַבֵּ֣ר אֱלֹהִ֔ים אֵ֛ת כׇּל־הַדְּבָרִ֥ים הָאֵ֖לֶּה לֵאמֹֽר׃ {ס}
God spoke all these words, saying:
אָֽנֹכִ֖י֙ יְהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑֔יךָ אֲשֶׁ֧ר הוֹצֵאתִ֛יךָ מֵאֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם מִבֵּ֣֥ית עֲבָדִ֑͏ֽים׃
I יהוה am your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, the house of bondage:
לֹֽ֣א־יִהְיֶ֥͏ֽה־לְךָ֛֩ אֱלֹהִ֥֨ים אֲחֵרִ֖֜ים עַל־פָּנָֽ͏ַ֗י׃
You shall have no other gods besides Me.
לֹֽ֣א־תַֽעֲשֶׂ֨ה־לְךָ֥֣ פֶ֣֙סֶל֙ ׀ וְכׇל־תְּמוּנָ֔֡ה אֲשֶׁ֤֣ר בַּשָּׁמַ֣֙יִם֙ ׀ מִמַּ֔֡עַל וַֽאֲשֶׁ֥ר֩ בָּאָ֖֨רֶץ מִתָּ֑͏ַ֜חַת וַאֲשֶׁ֥ר בַּמַּ֖֣יִם ׀ מִתַּ֥֣חַת לָאָֽ֗רֶץ׃
You shall not make for yourself a sculptured image, or any likeness of what is in the heavens above, or on the earth below, or in the waters under the earth.
לֹֽא־תִשְׁתַּחֲוֶ֥֣ה לָהֶ֖ם֮ וְלֹ֣א תׇעׇבְדֵ֑ם֒ כִּ֣י אָֽנֹכִ֞י יְהֹוָ֤ה אֱלֹהֶ֙יךָ֙ אֵ֣ל קַנָּ֔א פֹּ֠קֵ֠ד עֲוֺ֨ן אָבֹ֧ת עַל־בָּנִ֛ים עַל־שִׁלֵּשִׁ֥ים וְעַל־רִבֵּעִ֖ים לְשֹׂנְאָֽ֑י׃
You shall not bow down to them or serve them. For I your God יהוה am an impassioned God, visiting the guilt of the parents upon the children, upon the third and upon the fourth generations of those who reject Me.
וְעֹ֥֤שֶׂה חֶ֖֙סֶד֙ לַאֲלָפִ֑֔ים לְאֹהֲבַ֖י וּלְשֹׁמְרֵ֥י מִצְוֺתָֽי׃ {ס}
but showing kindness to the thousandth generation of those who love Me and keep My commandments.
לֹ֥א תִשָּׂ֛א אֶת־שֵֽׁם־יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ לַשָּׁ֑וְא כִּ֣י לֹ֤א יְנַקֶּה֙ יְהֹוָ֔ה אֵ֛ת אֲשֶׁר־יִשָּׂ֥א אֶת־שְׁמ֖וֹ לַשָּֽׁוְא׃ {פ}
You shall not swear falsely by the name of your God יהוה; for יהוה will not clear one who swears falsely by God’s name.
זָכ֛וֹר֩ אֶת־י֥֨וֹם הַשַּׁבָּ֖֜ת לְקַדְּשֽׁ֗וֹ׃
Remember the sabbath day and keep it holy.
שֵׁ֤֣שֶׁת יָמִ֣ים֙ תַּֽעֲבֹ֔ד֮ וְעָשִׂ֖֣יתָ כׇּֿל־מְלַאכְתֶּֽךָ֒׃
Six days you shall labor and do all your work,
וְי֨וֹם֙ הַשְּׁבִיעִ֔֜י שַׁבָּ֖֣ת ׀ לַיהֹוָ֣ה אֱלֹהֶ֑֗יךָ לֹֽ֣א־תַעֲשֶׂ֣֨ה כׇל־מְלָאכָ֜֡ה אַתָּ֣ה ׀ וּבִנְךָ֣͏ֽ־וּ֠בִתֶּ֗ךָ עַבְדְּךָ֤֨ וַאֲמָֽתְךָ֜֙ וּבְהֶמְתֶּ֔֗ךָ וְגֵרְךָ֖֙ אֲשֶׁ֥֣ר בִּשְׁעָרֶֽ֔יךָ׃
but the seventh day is a sabbath of your God יהוה: you shall not do any work—you, your son or daughter, your male or female slave, or your cattle, or the stranger who is within your settlements.
כִּ֣י שֵֽׁשֶׁת־יָמִים֩ עָשָׂ֨ה יְהֹוָ֜ה אֶת־הַשָּׁמַ֣יִם וְאֶת־הָאָ֗רֶץ אֶת־הַיָּם֙ וְאֶת־כׇּל־אֲשֶׁר־בָּ֔ם וַיָּ֖נַח בַּיּ֣וֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִ֑י עַל־כֵּ֗ן בֵּרַ֧ךְ יְהֹוָ֛ה אֶת־י֥וֹם הַשַּׁבָּ֖ת וַֽיְקַדְּשֵֽׁהוּ׃ {ס}
For in six days יהוה made heaven and earth and sea—and all that is in them—and then rested on the seventh day; therefore יהוה blessed the sabbath day and hallowed it.
כַּבֵּ֥ד אֶת־אָבִ֖יךָ וְאֶת־אִמֶּ֑ךָ לְמַ֙עַן֙ יַאֲרִכ֣וּן יָמֶ֔יךָ עַ֚ל הָאֲדָמָ֔ה אֲשֶׁר־יְהֹוָ֥ה אֱלֹהֶ֖יךָ נֹתֵ֥ן לָֽךְ׃ {ס}
Honor your father and your mother, that you may long endure on the land that your God יהוה is assigning to you.
לֹ֥֖א תִּֿרְצָ֖͏ֽח׃ {ס} לֹ֣֖א תִּֿנְאָ֑͏ֽף׃ {ס} לֹ֣֖א תִּֿגְנֹֽ֔ב׃ {ס} לֹֽא־תַעֲנֶ֥ה בְרֵעֲךָ֖ עֵ֥ד שָֽׁקֶר׃ {ס}
You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
לֹ֥א תַחְמֹ֖ד בֵּ֣ית רֵעֶ֑ךָ {ס} לֹֽא־תַחְמֹ֞ד אֵ֣שֶׁת רֵעֶ֗ךָ וְעַבְדּ֤וֹ וַאֲמָתוֹ֙ וְשׁוֹר֣וֹ וַחֲמֹר֔וֹ וְכֹ֖ל אֲשֶׁ֥ר לְרֵעֶֽךָ׃ {פ}
You shall not covet your neighbor’s house: you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox or ass, or anything that is your neighbor’s.
וְכׇל־הָעָם֩ רֹאִ֨ים אֶת־הַקּוֹלֹ֜ת וְאֶת־הַלַּפִּידִ֗ם וְאֵת֙ ק֣וֹל הַשֹּׁפָ֔ר וְאֶת־הָהָ֖ר עָשֵׁ֑ן וַיַּ֤רְא הָעָם֙ וַיָּנֻ֔עוּ וַיַּֽעַמְד֖וּ מֵֽרָחֹֽק׃
All the people witnessed the thunder and lightning, the blare of the horn and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they fell back and stood at a distance.
וַיֹּֽאמְרוּ֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה דַּבֵּר־אַתָּ֥ה עִמָּ֖נוּ וְנִשְׁמָ֑עָה וְאַל־יְדַבֵּ֥ר עִמָּ֛נוּ אֱלֹהִ֖ים פֶּן־נָמֽוּת׃
“You speak to us,” they said to Moses, “and we will obey; but let not God speak to us, lest we die.”
וַיֹּ֨אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֣ה אֶל־הָעָם֮ אַל־תִּירָ֒אוּ֒ כִּ֗י לְבַֽעֲבוּר֙ נַסּ֣וֹת אֶתְכֶ֔ם בָּ֖א הָאֱלֹהִ֑ים וּבַעֲב֗וּר תִּהְיֶ֧ה יִרְאָת֛וֹ עַל־פְּנֵיכֶ֖ם לְבִלְתִּ֥י תֶחֱטָֽאוּ׃
Moses answered the people, “Be not afraid; for God has come only in order to test you, and in order that the fear of God may be ever with you, so that you do not go astray.”
May we go astray no more.
I love that your parents are such an important part of your stories. I see them.
I see your Dad in the bleachers. I see Jerry there with me. I didn’t get to know your mom until years later when Beverly and I would find ourselves on the lower level of Boston Store. I see us at her checkout counter, chatting for the longest time. (You know Beverly.)
Their faces are alive in my memory.